How far would you go?
How far would you go just to show him how much you care about him, how much you love and respect him? A lot of people tend to think marrieges are considered sacred in most societies, more especially in our more traditionally-steeped continent of Africa. Long ago, men used pay lobola with cows/ Cattle as cattles were a primary symbol of wealth in African societies. How ever, many morden urban couples have switched to using cash/ money (like the old saying: money talks). Men pay lobola to have their women legally, to show their in-laws that they can provide for their families or they can can take care of their wives and children
According to the Sowetan Live,15 February 2012, By: Zenoyise Modikwa, most African men who were interviewed said lobola and the economic situation were the greatest discouragement for them to settle down. Mr Nkosi Mwelo Nonkonyana of Contasela, one of the interviewees of Sowetan Live, dismissed this as untrue. He said young men who feared responsibility always sighted lobola as a problem. He aslo said lobola should never be a deterrent in the African tradition as it was not about material good. Furthermore, most of the people think lobola is about uniting two families not about showing off material muscle.
According to the ancient Tradition of African cultures (mostly Africans: it can be the Nguni tribes: e.g. Zulus, Xhosas, and also the Batswana tribes, sotho and so on), men are the ones who are supposed to pay lobola for their women. Men/ other people pay lobola for the wrong reasons but some of them do it for the good reasons, for example, after paying lobola men:
The wrong reasons
- Tend to think they own women/ their wives.
- Tent to abuse their wives since they "bought them'' (payed lobola)
- End up disrespecting their wives and sometimes end up saying the wife(s) does not have a say (since he is the head of the family and they also tend to think they can make decisions on their own)
- Also think they can get sex every time and anytime they want, even though the wife does not feel like it.
The Good reasons
- Marry women for their beauty
- Marry women for their character.
- Marry women for their personalities and so on.
Since The Sowetan Live went as far as interviewing few people (mostly African men), what is the PR Communications point of view, is lobola sill relevant?
Source: http://Sowetan Live.co.za
Source: http://Sowetan Live.co.za
What is your PR Communication point of view on this,since you blogged about it?
ReplyDeleteTumz check my blog nicely it has a question at the end:it said 'since the Sowetan Live went as far as interviewing few people (moslty African men), what is the PR communications point of view, is lobola still relevant'... I was actually asking for you guy's point of view
Deletewhat is your PR communications point of view, is lobola still relevant?
Deletewell i personally think lobola is till relevant, but that does not mean men must take an advantage of women
Deleteyea it is still revelent to every african men to do so. But I must agree with you after they pay lobola they think they own us(women). Its not on, thats why most men abuse their wives. it started with this thought of lobola(they buying us ).
ReplyDeleteIf you think that they are buying us, then as a woman why dont you say no to lobola?
ReplyDeleteSaloma sometimes you find someone who loves and respect you so much, then pays lobola for you, after few months or years of staying together he starts showing you who he really is and it will be too late to do something about it
DeleteI feel that this is a very controversial issue. 1stly lobola has never been about buying love or sex or marriage but is an old tradition where the groom thanks the bride's family for raising the bride. i don;t know where you come from but the last time I checked marriage has never been prostitution. Maybe you should look up "marriage" and "prostitution"
ReplyDeleteJanine the reason why i raised that question was because i spoke to few people before i wrote this blog and that is what some of them think. i personally think that these days, paying Lobola is not like before because 'today's men tend to take advantages after paying it, they tend to abuse their wives and demand things from them if you know what i mean, they also think they can do whatever they like since they payed for those women.
DeleteAccording to African culture lobola is important but this days is nolonger followed people just get married without any proper procedures.
ReplyDeletei strongly agree
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletelol Phemelo i agree with you but now why dont you wanna pay lobola
ReplyDelete